Blog

As the month of Av approaches here are some reminders and schedule items:

The Nine Days

Beginning Sunday night August 4th, we will transition from the "three weeks" to the "nine days." The conceptual difference between the two is that while during the three weeks we refrain from celebratory and musical events that are beyond the typical daily routine, during the nine days we diminish even simple everyday pleasures. In the words of the Mishna, ממעטין בשמחה, we consciously diminish our joy. The premise of this practice is that it is difficult to enter the state of mourning on Tisha B'Av without preparation. Through creating a palpable sense of difference-from-routine in the days leading up, we are able to begin the reading of Eicha on the night of Tisha B'Av already emotionally open to its words.

Here are the basic laws & customs of the nine days. Please do not hesitate to ask questions as they arise!

(1) We do not eat meat or drink wine, other than on Shabbat. Regarding Havdalah on Saturday night it is preferable to either give the cup of wine or grape juice to a minor, or to use a "significant beverage" such as beer. If neither of these options is readily available, the person reciting Havdalah should drink the wine or grape juice as normal. 

(2) As has been true since the 17th of Tammuz, we do not attend parties or celebrations during the nine days.

(3) We shower with cool (not warm) water and only for the time necessary to satisfy the needs of basic hygiene. Friday afternoon is an exception to this rule.

(4) We do not swim for pleasure during the nine days. (Instructional swimming and swimming for health purposes are exempted, though it is customary to refrain from these as well in the week in which Tisha B'Av falls).

(5) We continue to not cut our hair, and if at all possible, we do not shave.

(6) We withhold from ourselves the luxury of wearing new or even freshly laundered outer garments, except for on Shabbat. Please note that the Halacha gives us a little bit of a break regarding freshly laundered garments, defining "freshly laundered" in a very literal way. Clothing worn for even a few minutes before the nine days began is no longer defined as "freshly laundered."

(7) We do not wash clothing during the nine days, even though we are not intending to wear that clothing until after Tisha B'Av. (Children's clothing that must be washed is exempted.)

(8) We extend the practices of the nine days through midday on the 10th of Av.

Halachot of Tisha B’Av:

(1) The experience of Tisha B'Av actually begins before Tisha B'Av. Unique in all of Jewish life is the special meal we eat before the fast begins, the Seudah Hamafseket. There is no meal, not even a meal eaten in a shiva house that is designed to be more miserable than the Seudah Hamafseket. Neither meat nor wine, nor more than even one cooked food, may be consumed. (Traditionally, we eat bread & a hard-boiled egg.) The meal is not only to be eaten while sitting on the floor, it is to be eaten in isolation. The benching afterward is specifically not to be preceded by a zimmun. It is the meal through which we imagine the meal of someone who is sitting at the lowest point of the circle of history. There is even a custom to dip the food in ashes.

(2) Tisha B'Av is similar in many ways to Yom Kippur. The fast is a full "24+" hours, and the restrictions of the day include not washing one's body (except for hand-washing in the morning), not wearing leather shoes, and refraining from marital relations, in addition to not eating and drinking. Additionally, on Tisha B'Av, all those who are physically able to do so sit on the floor or on low stools rather than chairs through midday (12:58 PM)

(3) Someone who is ill (defined as someone who is "weak and feels sick even though s/he faces no ultimate medical danger") is not required to fast on Tisha B'av, though the custom is to make the effort to the extent possible. Women who are healthy and who are pregnant or nursing do fast on Tisha B'av, assuming that there are no special risk factors. That said, I also invite you to read this teshuva (responsum) authored by Rabbi Nachum Rabinovitch zt"l who offers a more lenient approach for pregnant and nursing women. I'd be happy to talk the issue through with you.

(4) Tisha B'Av does not have the status of Shabbat. Nonetheless, the less time we can spend at "work" work, the better. Also, if going to work can be delayed until midday, that option should be pursued.

(5) Perhaps the most awkward custom of Tisha B'Av is that of not exchanging greetings throughout the fast. This too is borrowed from the laws of shiva. Though it feels odd to not say "hello" to the people we see in Shul, the pointed avoidance of exchanging pleasantries helps to create the atmosphere of sad reflection.

(6) Neither tallit nor tefillin are worn on the morning of Tisha B'Av. Both are symbols of Israel's glory, and neither is appropriate as we sit on the floor in the depths of dismay. Tallit and tefillin are worn at Mincha, as the gloom of the day slowly begins to lift.

(8) We extend the practices of the nine days through midday on the 10th of Av. (see above)

Tisha B'Av Schedule

Monday, August 12

Erev Tisha B'Av

On Monday, we will be davening Mincha at 5:45 PM to enable us to eat the Seudah HaMafseket (the ritual final meal) before the fast begins. The Seudah must conclude by sundown at 7:42 PM.

Tisha B'Av Evening (2 Locations) 

There will be two venues for Ma'ariv & Eicha, each beginning at 8:05 PM: 

1. BDJ Social Hall - with introductory comments from Rav Yosef
2. Schwarzberg Backyard. Feel free to bring blankets, chairs, and/or flashlights. Men and women will each be reading chapters of Eicha.

Tuesday, August 13

Tisha B'Av Morning

On Tisha B'Av morning, we will have two Minyanim for Shacharit and Kinot. 

6:30 AM - 8:00 AM: in the BDJ Beit Midrash, with Rav Yosef

8:30 AM - 1:00 PM: At Beth Jacob for the Annual BDJ-YICC-BJ-KI Shacharit & Kinnot. The Kinnot will be introduced and explained by lay people, educators, and Rabbis of our community. Alex Fax and Gail Katz will each be introducing a Kinnah this year. During the last hour of the program we will view Serving On All Fronts, a documentary film produced by Yeshivat Har Etzion about October 7th and its aftermath from the perspective of religious Zionist soldiers. See flyer for full details.

Tisha B'Av Afternoon (2 Times / Locations)

6:00 PM: Annual Mincha/Learning/Maariv together with Temple Beth Am, IKAR & Camp Ramah. This year in Nili & Ethan Isenberg's home and backyard. As in past years, there will be a BDJ minyan for Mincha and Ma'ariv. (Please remember Tallit and Tefillin for Mincha.) The topic this year is: "Finding Comfort Today”, featuring stories of hope and solace from community members who have visited Israel since October 7th including our own Jamie Garelick. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7:10 PM: Mincha at BDJ (with tallit and tefillin), followed by Divrei Torah with Josh Sharfman

8:00 PM: Ma'ariv (both locations)

8:11 PM: Fast Ends